Today is the last day of school for the older 2…..The past year flew by too quickly, my babes are growing too quickly….I am a mama of mixed emotion. I absolutely do not want to forget ANYTHING about the childhoods of my children and in all honesty, that is a great fear of mine……I look back on pictures and videos and think to myself “I totally dont remember that” I scramble to put myself back in that very time, that very place to make myself “remember” and sometimes I dont…..I dont want to ever lose the memories. I have a problem with feeling rushed, hell, I am rushed. Life goes before my very eyes and I can do nothing, I cant grab it and hold it……it’s so funny to hear my “thems” talk about wanting to grow up, like I did as a child, but now as an adult, I understand those before me saying “No, be a child” I laugh at the thought as I fully understand why now. I even look in the mirror and see these fine lines…..why are they on my face, like a slow, small, thin spiderweb creeping up and masking the true age I feel……but, Im afraid it is inevitable, we go through life and my goal is to live, actually live….how sad at thought that there are people who don’t “live”. My children are so full of life, Im sure they have enough for those who are lacking, but Im selfish in that way that I prefer them not to share……Happy last day of school to them and everything they have achieved, I am crazy proud of them =)


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